Funny forum post

So I was on this random messageboard on www.acne.org and I stumbled upon this person's (their name on the forum was eZero G) posting, below his or her posting was their sign off message which was this:

If acne was a person, I would grab both of his ear, pull each one as hard as I can until he cries in pain as brittle cartilages pop like pocorn. Then, I would force him to chew the torn flesh as I laugh in disgust and revenge. After, I would slice narrow holes on his stomach, chop all his fingers and force them inside the stomach holes, and with a hammer, I would smack the tip of his toes, and slice long, narrow, and deep stripes starting from his thigh to his toenails. Then just as he thinks everything is over, I would pour a bottle of BP to each of his eyes, stuff worthless Proactiv products to his mouth, and sprinkle Epsom salts, and vinegar to all open wounds. Finally, to humor myself, I would stab his face with a fork ten times to form ice-pick scars, then pour hot, then cold water over him, and over dry his face with a hair dryer to irritate his skin. And to conclude my revenge, I would hammer his balls, then leave him in the sun without sunscreen or moisturizer.

~Funny funny thing.